Torment
by Trivette Lover Heather
Summary: FINAL CHAPTER UP! Hawkeye suffers from constant nightmares...but no one expects to find what is behind them...
1. Default Chapter

Torment  
  
By: Trivette Lover Heather  
  
AN: Well folks, here's a story line I've been hoping to get out for a while. Don't know how long it will take to wrap up, I usually just start and see what happens as I type away as you can tell with my other stories. Sure hope you enjoy it…please do let me know what you think…I'd be very grateful!   
  
Also takes place Post Radar/Frank--- Even though the first 3 seasons were my fave, I haven't been able to conjure up much, but I will do my best, as the late seasons are fine work as well.   
  
*************  
  
"Hawkeye wake up!" BJ spoke. But it sounded like thunder to Hawkeye.  
  
"I'm up! I'm up…keep it down."  
  
"What do you mean keep it down? We got wounded come on!"  
  
He jumped up from his cot.   
  
He was actually happy to hear of the wounded, anything to get him out of his fearful slumber.   
  
**   
  
"That was rough; man I'm ready to turn in." BJ said between a yawn and trying to rub out the kink in his neck.   
  
Hawkeye replied with a nod.   
  
BJ put out his arm as if to escort his friend to the SWAMP.   
  
"What we going to the Prom?" Hawkeye quipped. Walking a bit faster than his friend into their tent.   
  
BJ shrugged. 'He must be really tired to turn me down' he thought.  
  
Hawkeye threw himself onto his cot, lifting his head to meet eye to eye with his ever loving companion, the Still.   
  
Before he could reach his hand over…his bunk mate grabbed it.   
  
"You've had enough already. You drank enough this past week, I thought I was gonna have to pump your stomach." He threw his hand down.   
  
"Um, I can't get to sleep without it." Hawkeye replied making another grab for it.  
  
"That would pose a problem then wouldn't it…listen you either lay off the booze or I'm gonna have to let Potter in on your little insomnia issue."  
  
"I don't have insomnia; just having a little trouble sleeping is all."  
  
"Hawk, if you can't get to sleep unless you pass out…you got a problem. It's my considered opinion that…"  
  
"I don't need your considered opinion Beej…I need a drink."  
  
BJ gave up. "Fine do it your way…but one of these day the other side won't be as gracious as to when they decide to attack…"  
  
With that BJ fell onto his cot turning his back to his friend and closing his eyes.   
  
After a couple hours he was awoken by the tossing of his roommate.   
  
He rubbed his eyes to see his friend sweating profusely. He got up and started to nudge him awake.   
  
"Hawk? It's BJ. Wake up." He said softly.   
  
Before BJ could react Hawkeye swung his fist hitting him square in the face. BJ fell back knocking the still over, awaking Charles.  
  
"What the hell?!" Charles would have yelled had he been even half awake.   
  
BJ held his hand over his face, shocked at what had just happened.   
  
"Stay away from me…I'm a doctor…this is a hospital!" After hollering those words at both Charles and BJ he snapped back into reality. He jumped down off his cot and put his hand out to help his friend up.  
  
"What is the meaning of this Pierce?" Charles asked almost looking concerned.   
  
BJ took his hand still fearful of his friend.   
  
"I'm sorry Beej, I was having…"  
  
"A bad nightmare…yea I know" BJ finished his sentence.   
  
"Pierce, you really must do something about these nightmares… we need our sleep too ya know."  
  
"Don't get too compassionate Charles…you might hurt yourself." BJ scoffed.  
  
"Thanks Charles, why don't I just check into the local psychiatric ward down the street? Go back to sleep Doctor, we can take it from here." He waved for Charles to lie back down.   
  
He did just that. Not in the mood to argue.   
  
"Beej, man, I'm sorry. I didn't know what I was doing."   
  
"Boy I sure hope so… it's okay Hawk, but Charles is kind of right, ya gotta do something about these dreams…I'm worried about ya…"  
  
Hawkeye nodded. "Tell ya what; I'll have Radar give Sidney a ring…first thing in the morning."  
  
BJ smiled. "It is first thing in the morning…" He pointed out to the rising sun. "I'm sure Radars up, now let's get me some ice and make a phone call shall we?" BJ again put out his arms as if escorting his friend. "You can't turn a guy down ya just slugged in the face."   
  
"You're nuts ya know that?" Hawkeye said turning from serious to light hearted taking his arm.   
  
"I learn from the best." BJ replies. The two toss back their hair and head towards Potters office.  
  
"They've both gone mad." Charles mumbles before closing his eyes.   
  
**  
  
"Good to see ya Sidney." Hawkeye said holding his hand out.   
  
"Same Hawk."  
  
"Remember why you're here Sid?" He asked.  
  
"Of course, an evaluation of the camp right?" He smiled.  
  
"Yup, now why don't we start in the SWAMP…?"  
  
"After you." Sidney smiled following his new patient into his tent.   
  
**SWAMP  
  
"So let's cut to the chase Hawkeye…how long you been having these dreams?"  
  
Hawkeye made a move for the still but stopped himself. "Well about 2 weeks straight now, but I've had them periodically for months now."  
  
"Hawk?" Sid replied surprised.   
  
"I thought they would go away, I only got really worried these past couple weeks…I mean I was scared to sleep…I had to drink to pass out just to keep from falling over during the day." He explained letting his hands fall on his knees.   
  
"What is in the dreams?"  
  
Hawkeye grimaced. He knew that was coming. "Well ya see…"  
  
!!!ATTENTION ALL PERSONEL…INCOMING WOUNDED…AMBULANCES AND CHOPPERS…LOOKS LIKE A LONG ONE FOLKS!!!  
  
He sighed. "Duty calls." Hawkeye jumped up. "Looks like a lot Sid…will ya scrub up?"  
  
"Of course." Sidney complied. 


	2. Triage

Okay folks, who knows where this story is going so, STAY TUNED! Now back to your regularly scheduled chaos… the more reviews the crazier it'll get…- TLH  
  
Triage**  
  
"Charles get a little hop in that step...we don't got all day! Get those patients in triage."   
  
"Sorry Colonel, my roommate decided to have one of his episodes at 4 this morning! The man has no decency."  
  
The Colonel rolled his eyes. "Oh shut up Charles."  
  
Charles muffed a sigh, holding his head up as he started to triage the patients.   
  
Colonel made his way over to Hawkeye.  
  
"You alright son? Charles clued me in, another nightmare last night?" He looked on concerned.   
  
"Its fine Colonel, Sidney is here, but no one knows for me...so if you would..."  
  
Potter nodded. "I understand, you just do what you do in there..."  
  
Hawkeye returned the nod with a wink to reassure his CO. He then glanced over at BJ...looks like he may have a nice shiner.   
  
Potter was making his rounds and checking in on his doctors. "BJ?" The colonel asked looking at his left eye.  
  
"Long story sir...I'm good to go though." BJ replied knowing he was referring to his newly acquired shiner.   
  
"Alright, get that one on a table first...have the nurses prep him." He pointed.   
  
"Yes sir." BJ replied catching a slight glance from his friend Hawkeye.   
  
  
  
"Sidney...see you're joining this little soiree. You can assist me, go get scrubbed up."  
  
Sidney did just that. He couldn't help but notice the amount of wounded in triage and still coming. This was gonna be a real long stretch and he didn't know how the Doctors held it together. 


	3. Get Out of the Sun

Hawkeye squinted as his eyes met the morning sun. He stretched his arms wide and between a yawn greeted the man appearing next to him.  
  
"Nice work in there Sid…if you're ever in the area, we can always use the help." He finished with another yawn.   
  
"I'll keep that in mind." Sidney replied also stretching. "You look tired Hawk…gonna get some sleep?"  
  
Hawkeye winced at the thought of sleep. "What? You think I forgot the reason why you're here…come on, let's continue our session out of this freaking sun."   
  
As the two started for the officers club, shells started hitting near the compound. Hawkeye grabbed Sidney's shirt and threw him to the ground along with himself. Crowds started racing towards post op. Hawkeye stood up still holding Sidney's shirt and yanked him into post op following the crowd. He yelled for Colonel Potter but there was no reply. He yelled for BJ and still nothing came of it.   
  
Sidney watched each time a shell exploded how everyone except Hawkeye flinched. It was like second nature to him to be calm in a time like this. Sidney then realized Hawkeye still hadn't let go of his shirt.   
  
"Hawk you can let me go now."  
  
"Right sorry Sid, got a little carried away…look I need ya to get a few volunteers and make sure there is no body else stuck anywhere in the compound, I'm gonna find Potter."  
  
Without even waiting for a reply he dashed through the double doors out of Post op.   
  
Shells were hitting closer and closer, the ground was shaking like it never had before.   
  
"Radar…!!!"  
  
"I'm trying sir but the phones are out…sir I think we may need to retreat."  
  
"What is this the Civil War? Where are my officers?"  
  
Just then Hawkeye bolted through the doors with Margaret and Charles.   
  
"Where's Hunnicutt?" Potter yelled over the shelling.   
  
"Don't know Colonel…"  
  
"Listen, we may be getting run over here…tell everyone to try to stay calm. Radar get a driver, I want all the nurses out of here NOW!"  
  
Radar jumped up. "Yes sir, right away sir."   
  
Hawkeye was as calm as ever.   
  
"Charles I need you to rally up all the critical patients and make sure we got enough equipment if we need to bug out."  
  
Charles without hesitation did just that.  
  
"And me sir?"  
  
"Hawkeye, I got a real bad feeling and I knew I could only share it with you…we only get shelled this bad when our boys are being pushed back this way. Looks like we may get stuck in the middle of a damn battle. And the only alternative is to run for it and hope for the best…"  
  
"If that's all we can do sir…"  
  
"It's all we can do…now we'll have to get as many patients into the bus as we can, and pack as many people in as humanly possible. We're heading for the hills." He ended his sentence almost shaking.  
  
"Okay Colonel…I'll rally the troops. We'll be alright…"   
  
The Colonel had never seen Hawkeye so calm before.   
  
He grabbed his picture of Mildred, giving it a kiss he stood up and grabbed his pistol from his desk drawer.   
  
** 


	4. Finally Can Get Some Sleep

"Listen everyone I need the men left to get all the patients you can moved into the bus in the compound, then grab only the necessities to keep their hearts beating….then I want as many of you as you can get into the bus. The driver will drive up to the hills towards Kimpo. When you arrive there, send the bus back for the rest of us who will be on foot. Any questions?" Hawkeye was almost screaming these orders over the noise. "Good. Luck" He waved his hand and they all started to move.   
  
What seemed like hours later, the Colonel was getting reports from all sides.   
  
"All the nurses are out sir, and the bus full of patients is on their way to Kimpo." Radar shouted standing right next to his Colonel.   
  
"Get all the officers left and personnel in here right now, we're moving out." He ordered.   
  
There was a group of about fifteen all rallied in the now empty post op. They all looked frightened as they listened intently to their Commanders words.  
  
"You men are brave, risking your lives to stay behind; now I don't know how far we'll make it on foot, but we're gonna do our damndest…."  
  
**  
  
Outside Hawkeye was running in and out of tents yelling BJ's name, still getting no reply. Finally as he was running by what was left of the Officers club, he saw his friend in pieces before him.   
  
He stood oblivious to the shelling around him. He fell to his knees holding what was left of his friend's body. Suddenly he heard the whistle of an incoming shell and as it exploded he was thrown back. As he came to he realized that that incoming shell had hit home right on top of post op. The rest of his unit had been crushed.   
  
Somehow he got himself up now hearing gun shots getting closer and closer. Before he could reach the rubble of where his friends had just been, a bullet grazed his head. He fell back and within minutes was being held at gun point by a Korean soldier. He tried to put up a fight, swinging his fists madly…then his body shook as three bullet holes ripped through his body. He laid back and thought of how now he could finally get some sleep.   
  
***  
  
Bet you think this was all just a dream don't ya…? – Please review and let me know if I'm nuts… it helps me…help you… Later - TLH 


	5. Cutting Back a Little On What Again?

Torment  
  
Ch. 5 "Cut Back a Little on What Again?"   
  
AN: Alright Troops, like I said the more reviews the crazier its gets…so stick with me on this one…I'll tell ya this much, it wont go chronologically. Let me know if you're confused so I can clarify. If you have trouble let me know. –K hope ya don't…enjoy!   
  
**  
  
Sidney and Hawk made their way to the Officers club, it looked like rain and Hawkeye knew it.   
  
"We're about to get poured on Sid, double quick time" He began to jog as the rain started to trickle down.   
  
The made it safely and took their seats at the corner table.  
  
"Nothing to drink Hawk?" Sidney asked eyeing the bar.  
  
"Nah, I'm trying to cut back a little."  
  
Sidney shrugged. "Well then, where were we, before we were so rudely interrupted?"   
  
"Sid, ya see, if I tell you, ya gotta promise me you aint gonna take me out of here."  
  
"Hawk…I…"  
  
"Promise me Sid, unless I get a ticket home, I aint going to no nut farm back in Seoul."  
  
"Okay Hawkeye."  
  
"Good…" Thunder clapped loudly as he started to speak and he could feel the wind shaking the foundation. "Ya see in these dreams Sid…"  
  
Just then Radar busted in. " Folks, looks like a real bad storm set to kick in any minute…Potters orders say we all bunker in post op…lets go!"   
  
Everyone in the room started for the door including Sidney. Well everyone except Hawkeye who had cowered himself into a corner.   
  
"Hawk? You coming?" Sidney hollered before he saw Hawkeye had made himself over to the corner crouched down.   
  
Sidney practically raced over in concern for the both of them getting crushed if the winds picked up like he thought they might.   
  
"Hawk?"  
  
"Not going into Post op Sid…Not going in there…" Hawkeye exclaimed looking like a little child in time out.   
  
"Why Hawk?"  
  
"Bomb…Kills em all."  
  
Sidney had never been so confused. "Hawk listen, we gotta get out of here, if I read Radars face right, we're gonna be flattened any minute now!"  
  
"Don't you see, this is a perfect opportunity to run us over, when we're all hovered in the same place, they can kill us all with one good hit."  
  
Hawkeye's eyes were wider than Sidney had ever seen. He was serious.   
  
"That's not gonna happen, there hasn't been enemy shelling in weeks…now come on! I'm gonna leave without ya."   
  
Sidney made a grab for him but Hawkeye pushed him away. 'I'll go get the others to get him out' He thought.   
  
"Have it your way Hawk." Sidney said racing for the door.   
  
As soon as he left a huge gust of wind threw him to the ground. The moment he hit the ground, shelling began. It took him a second to realize what was happening. He looked behind him to see the Officers club had been flattened to the ground. He was starting to be overwhelmed with guilt when someone grabbed his shirt, pulling him towards post op… 


	6. Coming Around

"Come on Sid, those winds are liable to blow your hair off!" Colonel Potter yelled heading straight for post op.   
  
"Hawkeye…"  
  
"What about him?"  
  
Sidney pulled them both to a halt. "He was in the officers club…he…didn't want to…it…the wind"  
  
"Sidney calm down…did Hawkeye leave the club before it collapsed?"  
  
"No" He said simply.   
  
The Colonel slightly shoved Sidney towards Post op. "Go get some help, we gotta get him out."  
  
Sidney nodded and did just that.   
  
Colonel Potter had stopped dead in front of the club. Hawkeye couldn't possibly be alive, he thought. He shook the thoughts out of his head and started to yell his surgeon's name.   
  
"Hawkeye! It's Potter, We're gonna get you out son! Make some noise if you hear me."  
  
Just then, BJ, Klinger and Sidney appeared.  
  
"Where Colonel?" BJ asked, the rain now starting to shower them all so badly, they could barely see.   
  
"Don't know BJ…listen for any movement…start lifting the sheet up…"  
  
Hollering of Hawkeye's name became less frequent and far between. The winds had now started to fade and the rain was starting to let up. Father Mulcahy appeared holding his hat tightly.   
  
He looked around for a moment assessing the situation "Is he?" was all he could say.  
  
"Don't know yet Father, but a little cross action cant hurt." BJ replied still sifting getting closer to the far left corner of the club.   
  
"I haven't stopped since you've been out here." He replied and turned his eyes quickly to the heavens.   
  
In that instant…  
  
"Colonel…I got him…help!" BJ hollered over to him.   
  
The four men hurried and within seconds could see Hawkeye under the rubble lying still.   
  
"He's not moving Colonel" Klinger yelled.   
  
"Don't move him, be careful."  
  
Sidney was awe stricken and couldn't help but let the guilt over take him.   
  
"Klinger, get a stretcher…"  
  
Just then Radar appeared with a stretcher. "Got a stretcher for ya sir."   
  
The Colonel didn't have time for a wise crack. "Alright boys, load him up, nice and smooth, get him into pre op…"   
  
Margaret and Nurse Abel immediately started to clean the cuts. BJ was so exhausted he could barely give orders but something inside him screamed out to see his friend in pain. He couldn't help but notice Sidney sitting alone staring at the floor. But he didn't have time for that now.   
  
"Vitals!?" BJ yelled.   
  
"Pulse is weak but there sir...BP is okay…"   
  
"He had to of gotten knocked out pretty good, we need to get those x-rays, move him slow and get him in there."   
  
***  
  
Hours later the camp continued on as normal. People going about their daily routines as if nothing happened.   
  
Sidney however wasn't among them.   
  
"It's my fault Colonel..."  
  
"Sidney he wouldn't budge, there was nothing you could do, you had to get out or you would be lying in there next to Hawkeye or worse…you cant let this guilt get the best of you, Hawkeye will be fine, and when he does come around he's gonna need you…"  
  
"You're right Sherman, you're always right." He smiled.   
  
Radar pushed through the doors.  
  
"What is it Radar?"  
  
"Sir, Hawkeye is coming around."  
  
AN: Hang in there troops, have no clue where this ones going…it'll all make sense soon enough don't worry. Hope ya'll had a wonderful holiday and may this New Year bring blessing after blessing! 


	7. Oh Boy!

Toment – Final Chapter -- ?   
  
**POST OP  
  
Sidney stopped point blank the moment he stepped through the doors into post op. This caused Radar to stop which in turn had Colonel Potter run right into him.  
  
Sidney didn't flinch at the push he just received; he was too scared to move.   
  
Potter put his hand on his shoulder, "Son, you gotta go in there and talk with the boy, he's hurting and so are you."  
  
Sidney nodded and wondered how Potter always seemed to know the right thing to say.  
  
He took a seat next to Hawkeye as BJ stood at the top of the bed checking his chart for the tenth time that day.   
  
"Hawk" Sidney barely muttered as he wanted break into tears.   
  
"Beej?" Hawkeye uttered.   
  
"I'm here Hawk." BJ made his way around and was flattered he was the one who he asked for first.   
  
"You're alive?"  
  
"Of course I am…it you being alive you should be worried about!"  
  
You could see the confusion in Hawkeye's face, but as usual it didn't last too long.   
  
'Maybe that wasn't BJ, maybe I made a mistake.' He thought, then turned to turned to his usual humor,  
  
"Get Hot Lips, I need a get well kiss." He grinned slightly, but didn't laugh.   
  
BJ however did laugh. "Right away Doctor."   
  
Potter then made his way over. "Son, Sidney is here to speak with you."  
  
"Colonel?" Hawkeye asked. "You're alive too?! Did you guys get out of Post op before the shell hit?!"   
  
The Colonel looked confused and made eye contact with Sidney.   
  
"Radar! Is Radar okay? Did you all get out?!!" Hawkeye was still laying flat on his back, and his speech was far from audible.   
  
"What son?"  
  
"Radar, did he get out? Oh, please tell me the kid got out!" You could almost see Hawkeye face cringe with fear.  
  
"Son, we're all fine, we are all safe."  
  
Sidney looked on baffled.  
  
"How'd the surgery go?" He asked his Colonel.   
  
"Surgery Hawk?"  
  
"Stop making me repeat what I say damnit! Did the surgery on me go okay?"  
  
"You didn't need surgery Hawk!"  
  
Just then BJ appeared with Margaret. Missing the previous part of the conversation. Hawkeye saw that BJ was there now.  
  
"Beej, how was the surgery on me earlier, any complications?"  
  
BJ also looked very confused.   
  
"We didn't have to operate Hawk; you just had some real bad breaks and contusions. You'll heal up fine."  
  
Hawkeye started to get agitated. "What do you mean you didn't have to operate? I was shot three times!!!"  
  
At that point, Sidney stood up and asked everyone to leave. They complied and regrouped in the corner of post op keeping an eye on their friend.   
  
"What happened Sidney? I gotta know, I mean are they complications? Is that why they're not telling me?"  
  
"Easy Hawk…take a deep breath…listen, before all this happened…" He was interrupted.  
  
"All this what? Us being taken over?"  
  
Now Sidney was more confused then ever. It had to be those nightmares.  
  
"There was a bad storm, you and I were in the Officers club when Radar told us to go to Post op for safety, you didn't want to you, you said that there would be a bomb and would kill them all, so when I left you to get help the Officers club collapsed on top of you, which is why you are lying in this bed right now…"  
  
Hawkeye was silent for a moment taking it all in. After hearing it, he remembered being in the officers club when Radar came in.  
  
"So I wasn't shot? There were no Korean soldiers?" He asked, his face looking as innocent as a four year old kid.  
  
"No Hawk…but I think it's time we talked about those nightmares you were having…the reason why I was here in the first place…"  
  
He looked over at his friend in the corner and smiled slightly. "They must think I'm crazy."  
  
"No they are just concerned as am I…let's get to these dreams of yours."  
  
The wounded man sighed and complied with the request. It took him a second to compile his thoughts and then he began…  
  
"You and I were leaving post op, and were heading to the SWAMP to talk when we started to get shelled….I grabbed you…We were in post op…I was yelling for BJ…We got all the wounded into buses…BJ was nowhere to be found…I was giving orders…everyone evacuated except about 15 of us inkling the Colonel and Radar….I ran out looking for BJ….he was blown to pieces…then a shell…Post op was gone…they were all dead….then soldiers…I tried to fight…I was shot three times…then I'm here."  
  
Sidney sighed. "Well Hawk, that's quite a dream, but that's all it was; a dream. We'll talk more about this later; you need to get some rest."   
  
**MONTHS LATER  
  
Walking outside post op. Sidney's farewell…  
  
"Well Sidney, thanks for helping me recuperate till I could get up on my feet, as sad as this may sound, it was nice to get back to fixing up those kids in there…you didn't do a bad job yourself in there…anyway, I'm glad I can finally get some sleep thanks to you…"  
  
"You're welcome, now how about a farewell drink to end a long ordeal…"  
  
"No more a fitting way." Hawkeye said throwing his arm around his friend.   
  
As the two started for the officers club, shells started hitting near the compound. Hawkeye grabbed Sidney's shirt and threw him to the ground along with himself. Crowds started racing towards post op. Hawkeye stood up still holding Sidney's shirt and yanked him into post op following the crowd. He yelled for Colonel Potter but there was no reply. He yelled for BJ and still nothing came of it.   
  
MINTUES LATER**  
  
"Hawkeye, I got a real bad feeling and I knew I could only share it with you…we only get shelled this bad when our boys are being pushed back this way. Looks like we may get stuck in the middle of a damn battle. And the only alternative is to run for it and hope for the best…"  
  
THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
AN: Sorry folks, thought it'd be best to end it this way, crazy I know… but hey hope for the best right! The last two parts are taken directly from previous chapters if that helps you understand…chronologically….  
  
And if you hate this ending and want me to end it all happily…let me know!   
  
Please review, It helps me, Help you!   
  
-TLH 


	8. Happy Ending

Happy Ending to Torment...  
  
AN: I know it's been a while for this one, but I read back a few reviews, and a few of you wanted a happy ending so here it is....enjoy!  
  
---  
  
"Well Sidney, thanks for helping me recuperate till I could get up on my feet, as sad as this may sound, it was nice to get back to fixing up those kids in there...you didn't do a bad job yourself in there...anyway, I'm glad I can finally get some sleep thanks to you..."  
  
"You're welcome, now how about a farewell drink to end a long ordeal..."  
  
"No more a fitting way." Hawkeye said throwing his arm around his friend.  
  
"Ya know Hawk...this experience has really taught me something."  
  
"What's that Sidney?" Hawkeye asked opening the door to the officers club.  
  
"That the mind is a crazy yet beautiful thing."  
  
"What? It took me losing it for you to figure that out?"  
  
"Well you're not normal by any means, if you can lose your mind; it reminds me that we all can."  
  
"Why I'm flattered...I think." He said with a smile. "Uh, bartender two scotches no ice."  
  
As the two took a hold of their glasses, they lifted them in the air...  
  
"To Sanity." Sidney nodded.  
  
"To Sanity...and all its shortcomings." Hawkeye finished with a smile and a wink.  
  
THE END!  
  
There ya go folks! Hope ya liked it. Short and sweet! You take care and Please review, It helps me, help you! – TLH 


End file.
